"Soft" Self Compassion (Ying)
Soft self-compassion focuses on acceptance and nurturing of ourselves. It allows us to experience inner healing. But too much “Soft” Self-Compassion may lead to disempowerment and leaving the status quo unchallenged.
Self-kindness
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Soothing and comforting
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Gentle reassurance, when feeling loss, shame or sadness
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Directed inwardly (with outward awareness)
Common Humanity
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Recognition that suffering is a part of the shared human condition. We do not feel alone in experiencing our sadness or disappointment.
Example of Soft Self Compassion : R U Okay Day
Mindful awareness
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Being able to be with and validate our pain in an open, accepting manner. Not avoiding or exaggerating our suffering
How to practice self-compassion
Self-compassion has two faces, we need both aspects to be balanced and integrated for wellbeing. Having both soft and strong self-compassion allows us to be a caring force both for ourselves as an individual, and also to be a caring force for our society.
"Strong" Self Compassion (Yang)
Strong self-compassion focuses on protection in harmful situations, and can involve bravery, calling out injustice and making boundaries. But too much “Strong” Self-Compassion may lead to conceited self-righteousness or demonization of others.
Self-kindness
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Fierce empowered truth, self-respect
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Standing up and saying “NO”, you cannot harm me in this way
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Directed outwardly (with inward awareness)
Common Humanity
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Being united with our peers and feeling empowered by our community. Protecting self and others from being harmed.
Example of Strong Self Compassion : Me Too Movement
Mindful awareness
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Being able to clearly see the truth. No longer avoiding seeing or speaking in order not to “rock the boat”.
The Feeling Wheel
Self-compassion involves mindful awareness to see where we are on the wheel of emotions. We may be in an uncomfortable emotional space during a period of suffering. Acknowledging our emotional experience and taking a self-compassionate stance can shift our emotions. Ultimately, taking appropriate action in a self-compassionate way can lead us towards calm and equanimity.
Both soft and strong self-compassion involve action to reduce suffering.